The Kitchen Cupboard Metaphor This happens often: I recommend that a student in my public speaking class increase her volume. To reach her speaking objective, she needs to sound more leader-like and authoritative. “But that’s not me. That’s not who I am. I’m not loud.” Now is the time for my “kitchen cupboard analogy.” “Do […]
Every day you face opportunities to take risks or avoid them. Should you strike up a conversation with the woman in line at Target? Should you offer to help someone who might need assistance? Should you respond to someone who makes eye contact and smiles at you? I’m all for being alert to potential danger, but I’m […]
Just: “I’m just a receptionist.” “Just checking to see if you got my proposal for building your next hotel.” This word minimizes you, your purpose, your value, and what you’re up to. Omit it. Try: “I’ll try to get the answer to you by Monday.” Try implies failure. Don’t try. Do. I didn’t have a chance: When I […]
You’ve heard the saying: When one door closes another door opens. Have you found this to be true? I have a client who feels trapped in a career that doesn’t bring her joy or satisfaction. She is frustrated every day by “having to work with people she doesn’t respect.” I ask her, “Is someone holding […]
Here, am I running away from the room? No, I’m using body language to make a point about using the entire space. We don’t want to merely survive our next presentation. We want to own the room! Walk to the front as though you “own the joint.” Have zero doubt about your credentials. Communicate your expectations. Gently but […]
Meet Sean Talbert. He is a home-schooled sixteen-year-old who voluntarily enrolled in my public speaking class. The other students—adults in the business world—were mightily impressed by his courage and commitment to himself. Everyone said things like, “When I was 16, I would never have taken a class like this.” When I was his age, I […]
Are you perceived as a “wallflower”? You sit silently in staff meetings. You speak only when spoken to. If you want to advance in your career, this has to change. At every meeting, gathering, party, or networking event, make yourself do these three things: Ask a question. Offer an opinion. Make a suggestion. These three […]
I was sitting at the outdoor lobby of Pioneer Plaza when a man approached me and introduced himself. He said, “You may not remember me, but more than twenty years ago, I attended one of your classes at the Chamber of Commerce. You told me, in front of everyone, that I seemed ‘leader-like.’ No one […]
You bump into someone. “Sorry.” Your phone goes off when it shouldn’t. “Sorry.” You interrupt someone. “Sorry.” These are minor offenses. “Sorry” is fine. And then there are times for An Apology: ~ You shared news that was given to you in confidence. ~ You withheld vital information. ~ You broke an agreement. These are more serious offenses. […]
Just as the alternator in a car charges its battery, you want your audience to charge YOU. If your audience is a sluggish alternator, you will soon become a drained battery. Audience members don’t know it’s their job to charge you. Thus, you have to show them how. You do this by coming out from behind the lectern, asking […]
She doesn’t return your phone call. He doesn’t respond to your e-mail. She glances away from you when you try to make eye contact. And now, as my friend Susan put it, you “make s*%# up.” She must be mad at me. I must have offended him. She wants to avoid me. This is normal. When […]
Have you ever heard a speaker say, “Please hold your questions ’til the end?” I have, hundreds of times. Here’s why that’s a bad idea: People who have a burning question on their mind are distracted and unlikely to fully grasp whatever comes next. Their learning is now compromised. Unless people write their question down, they might forget what […]
Speakers should beware when the organizers of a workshop use the M word (Mandatory) about attendance. When people have no choice, there is immediate resistance. And who bears the brunt of that resistance? The management team, of course. But that’s usually not expressed overtly. What is overt is the body language of the participants as they arrive […]
I recently received five excellent thank-you notes from high school students following a presentation I gave on public speaking. What made them excellent? 1. The handwriting was clear and attractive. 2. The card stock was of top quality and the graphics were simple. 3. Each note mentioned a specific way in which my tips were useful. 4. […]
This event happened over twenty years ago and I doubt anyone would remember his real name, but let’s call him “Alan.” Alan was the creator (and as I found out later, the administrator) of my website. We placed my headshot on the home page, but it didn’t have a caption. I was taught that every photo should […]
Once upon a time, a public speaker named Pam learned that she shouldn’t eat a meal prior to giving a presentation. Here’s how it went down: I had a 7:30 a.m. flight to Hilo to give a customer service workshop for over 100 employees of a credit union. This required a 3:30 wake-up call, disrupting my normal […]
When I agreed to speak to the employees of a printing company, it didn’t occur to me to ask where we would gather. As I approached their humble building in Kakaako, I saw four rows of metal folding chairs arranged in the street-front parking lot. The employees filed out of the building at 5:00 pm and […]
The title of my after-lunch talk was, “How Women Throw Their Power Away.” The audience was an association of female attorneys. Registration was to begin at 11:30 and we would sit down for lunch at noon. I arrived at The Plaza Club at 11:15 only to be told, “Oh, we couldn’t accommodate that large a group. […]
My client asked if it would be OK to have an interpreter sign my talk for her hearing-impaired client. I readily agreed, recalling times I’ve seen this service performed by interpreters who position themselves off to the side with their clients gathered nearby. As I began my presentation to about thirty people, “Alice-the-interpreter” and “Eileen-the-client” were not yet […]
“Josh” asked me to observe his financial planning workshop and give him feedback afterwards. At the front of the room was a registration table with 15 name tags. The workshop was to begin at 6:00, but at 6:15 Josh was standing around, chatting with some of the participants. During our feedback session I asked, “Why did you not […]
I was teaching a customer service workshop for a t-shirt company. There were about 15 of us gathered in the factory, surrounded by piles of t-shirts from floor to ceiling. There were shirts in various stages of completion on work tables, and boxes stacked by the door, ready to be delivered. Because of the nature of […]
My topic at a symposium was how to lead all-day workshops. There were about 150 people present. A woman approached the standing microphone and asked how often we should offer breaks throughout the day. I said, “People should be given a break every 60 – 75 minutes. But when I was leading workshops during my pregnancy, I […]
Nearly 200 women showed up at Honolulu’s biggest department store to attend a presentation given by a major cosmetics company. Lets call the presenter Jean-Marc. Jean-Marc had flown in from New York to promote the new spring line of products (and to sell them). Toward the end of a compelling presentation, Jean-Marc began to take questions from […]
I was the after lunch speaker at a networking event. During the lunch hour, the emcee announced, “Now for the fun part! Lets go around the room and briefly introduce ourselves.” The first thing wrong here is the word “briefly.” We all know that the farther around the circle we go, the more lengthy and […]
I don’t eat prior to speaking. Here’s why: I don’t want to wonder if poppy seeds are between my teeth or if a piece of spinach has wrapped itself around a front tooth. I don’t want to have to leave the room to examine my teeth and fix my lipstick. I might miss an important […]
I made a new rule in my classroom: If you need to use your phone during the break, please step outside. For all but the last month of the 30+ years I’ve been teaching public speaking, the 10-minute break would be filled with conversation, laughter, and movement. But in the past month, break-time became silent-time […]
Yesterday I started a new series of classes with a construction company. The owner warned me that there would be a couple of people who would be skeptical of the value of my message and methods. He looked worried when he told me this. I felt like saying, “That doesn’t bother me one bit.” Instead, […]
People who earn black belts in karate get there by being grateful for each kick that lands them on the floor. They scramble to their feet, bow, and say, “Thank you!” to their opponent. When I first witnessed that, I knew I had to make an immediate change in how my public speaking students responded […]
I bet you admire speakers who are genuine, authentic, and real. I know I do. An audience is smarter than any single individual. An audience has a collective intelligence that can sniff out dishonesty in mere seconds. Therefore, in my presentation skills classes, I teach people to be truthful. See these two examples: “My mind […]
There are certain people you recognize right away. In a split second, even from a distance, you know, “That’s Gloria.” And then there are those who make not much of an impression. If you want to be remembered, you need to create your personal brand. Branding your phyical image is one way to do that. Here […]
Remember the song, “Do You Believe in Magic?” by the Lovin’ Spoonful? Do you believe in magic? I do. I have come to see “coincidences” as magic. Here are three examples from my world of public speaking: As I’m telling a story, I’m trying to remember the name of comedian Eddie Izzard. Someone in the audience says, “Do […]
The speaker is captivating. You avidly take notes and agree with your neighbor that this is a great talk. You wish it could go on forever. But then it does. Don’t let this be you. Your popularity will plummet with each moment you steal. People don’t want to walk out on you, and usually they […]
Some people claim that they are “too self-conscious” to speak in front of others. My response is, “You’re right. You’re too self-conscious.” People seem slightly taken aback when I say this, but it’s true. Your brain can be on only one channel at a time. There are three from which to choose: The Me Channel: When […]
Probably not last month, or last year, but when you were in grade school. You had to get up in front of the class and give an oral book report, or describe your science project. Perhaps for the first time in your young life, your friends became your enemies. You flubbed a word. Someone snickered. […]
“NOW we’re talking!” That’s what I said aloud when I recently watched a YouTube video of comedian Demetri Martin perform without any bells or whistles. On the stage were three things: Demetri, a stool, and a glass of water. Oh, and about half-way into the gig he produced a flip chart which contained pages of […]
You’re sitting on your sofa watching TV, remote control in hand, looking for someone who will captivate you. How many seconds do you give each candidate before you zap them away? If you’re like most people, two to five seconds. It’s the same when you give a presentation, whether to one person, to a small […]
Many people are afraid of running out of material, so they pack too much into their time-slot. They start rushing to fit it all in, and we sense their panic. Pack your talk as if you were packing a suitcase. Don’t you want to leave some room for some goodies you find along the way? I had […]
Please remove this phrase from your brain and mouth: “I didn’t have a chance.” “I didn’t have a chance to look at your website.” “I didn’t have a chance to read your article.” “I didn’t have a chance to visit your new store.” Yes, you had a chance! Probably several dozen chances. The point is […]
When I bump into people I haven’t seen in awhile, they almost always ask, “Are you busy?” This presumes that “busy” is good. A better question might be, “Are you productive?” But no one asks that. And anyway, who would want to say, “No, I’m not productive”? I’ve come up with a response I’m comfortable with: […]
Many speakers are too eager to please. 1. “Oh, you have chips! Do you have enough to share?” 2. “You seem to know a lot about this. Would you like to come to the stage?” 3. “Why don’t you and I talk about this after my presentation?” Here is why these responses should be avoided: 1. […]
Here is an excerpt from the biography of Steve Jobs, sent to me by “sales resultant” Ron Martin, who dislikes PowerPoint as much as I do: One of the first things Jobs did during the product review process was ban PowerPoint. “I hate the way people used slide presentations instead of thinking,” Jobs recalled. “People […]
A good speaker has this purpose: the people who attend my presentation will leave “better” than how they arrived. They now look at something from a different perspective: “Oh! I never thought of it that way. That makes sense!” They learned something: “So that’s why we should distribute handouts after our talk instead of ahead of time!” […]
“Why does he keep doing that? It’s driving me crazy!” Have you ever thought this as you watched someone give a presentation? Here are five annoying habits that you should avoid: Jingling keys and coins. When you are nervous, your hands often tell the tale. Many people stand in front of the room, immediately put a […]
Most speakers look forward to the Q&A. It’s exciting when people show interest in your topic. But if you don’t handle this segment well, your presentation can end on a weak note. Here are some challenges and how to handle them: There aren’t any questions. You’ve generously saved ten minutes for questions, but there aren’t any. Instead of, […]
When you are seated at a conference table among your peers, you are equal to them and part of them. It’s easy enough to throw out a question, offer an opinion, or make a suggestion. But when you are required to stand and deliver, the equation changes. They are seated. You are standing. More is expected of you now. All eyes […]
Most of us are familiar with preparing a presentation on index cards, or writing it all out word-for-word. And these days, we see lots of words on powerpoint slides. There is a better, more creative way to prepare your presentation: Don’t write it. DRAW it! Notice the dock at the bottom of your computer screen. […]
Many speakers are likable. Many are trustworthy. But not all are connected. If you want to be effective, you must quickly form a bridge between yourself and your audience. Here are five techniques that will help you create a state of us-ness: Eye contact. The people in your audience want to believe that you notice […]
In my presentation skills class, we explore how to manage distracting audience behavior. This may include people arriving late, leaving early, having side conversations, eating noisy or stinky food, rummaging through their belongings, asking irrelevant questions, and more. The most dreaded is the person who heckles the speaker. I teach that a heckler is a […]
Let’s say that you’re speaking to a group of ten people, and one chair is empty. Why should you remove it? Imagine trying to contain water in a sieve. You can’t. That’s what happens when you try to contain energy in a room with empty seats. The empty seats convey: “People are missing. People didn’t show up. […]
My sister Julie, who is also a teacher, asked what we can do when people are using their devices while we are speaking. What I do about that depends on my relationship with them. Am I a guest speaker at a Rotary Club? If so, I hardly have the right to ask them to stop. I […]
After more than 25 years of public speaking, I thought I had pretty much seen it all. Wrong. The meeting was to be one hour, including the buffet lunch. More people showed up than were expected and the servers had to scramble to set up an additional table. For this, and other reasons, the start […]